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I Have a Proposal for You ...
The Proposal. It seems like such a formal word for something that is so personal, doesn't it? A Proposal sounds like some sort of business transaction between two corporatations, rather than the beginning of a lifelong commitment to a new life together.
There are so many "stereotypical" proposals that we always hear about. The classic baseball game proposal where the question is posted on the giant screen for all the crowd to see. To me; if I were a guy, that would be way too stressful. How can you enjoy the game? You have to constantly look at that screen, waiting for the 2 second message to appear. And you have to make damn sure that SHE sees the message too. What if she goes to the ladies room for the 10th time? What if she just isn't looking? Too much pressure. Or how about the "putting the ring inside the food at a restaurant" proposal? This one just scares me. A ring inside my mashed potatoes? I don't know about you, but when I eat potatoes, I'm not taking each bite with precaution just in case there is an engagement ring stuffed in there! What if I choke and swallow the ring? Again, too much could go wrong here. It's like a potential comedy of errors.
And ladies, let's admit it; we look forward to the proposal. Some of us dream about it; even picturing or hoping for specific scenarios to take place on that momentous day. We also love hearing about other proposals too, right? Whenever one of your friend's gets engaged, what is the first thing you say? "Oh congratulations! How did he propose?" Thats the first thing YOU say. The first thing your male significant other says is something sarcastic like, "So you're finally walking the plank, huh?" or "Giving her the rights to your balls, eh?" or the overdramatic and badly acted, "Don't do it, man!! Don't do it!!!!" Yes, men. We see right through you.
Why? Because we know that secretly; somewhere deep down inside your manly self, you like the proposal. You like coming up with something extra-special for the love of your life; something you know she will love. I have seen some normally unromantic men come up with some amazing proposals in my time. My own husband is someone I would classify as not terribly romantic; and his Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree proposal was one of the most romantic and beautiful nights of my entire life. Of course, it was also one of the LAST romantic nights of my life; but that's a blog for another time ....
So what makes the perfect marriage proposal? I think that depends on who you are as a couple. The key to knowing how to propose marriage is truly knowing your girl and your relationship. What kind of people are you? Is she shy or outgoing? Would she love or be embarassed by a grand gesture in front of lots of people? What are your hobbies together? Some of the greatest proposals come from simply utilizing the things you like to do. For example, someone who runs marathons might propose with a large sign at the Finish line of a big race. If you both love movies, you might create a mini film for your fiance about your story as a couple, and at the end, you propose into the camera. A good friend of mine is also a fellow comedian; and he proposed to his fiance (now wife) on the stage at Gotham Comedy Club, during his standup comedy routine. It is all about who you are, and what you think your partner would appreciate. A lot of people like to make it private, while others prefer to propose in front of their entire family, maybe at a gathering like New Year's Eve or Thanksgiving.
Like rings, proposals come in all shapes and sizes. Another friend of mine has a husband who is very laid back and mellow in personality. His proposal was very lowkey and down to earth. They were sitting in their car coming back from dinner, and he simply told her he had something for her in the trunk. Then he pulled out the engagement ring out of a paper bag and said something like, "Here. So will you?" My friend made the point that although some women would have been disappointed by this non-event, she thought it was sweet because it was "just like him" to do something like that. It was pure to who he is. And that is what speaks to someone. Who you are.
So really, there is no perfect proposal. There are endless ways for a man to propose to his fiance. I think if you can capture the truth in that moment of who you are; then you have given a proposal that she will remember forever.
Men, this is your big moment! Trust me, if you do it right; her entire family and friends will love you forever. Everywhere you go, you will be the big hero for giving such a great proposal. That is exactly what happened to my husband. He was like a celebrity. "So, tell us the story of how you proposed..... Oh, how romantic! .... Oh Kelley is sooo lucky!"
And I am. But more importantly, so was he. Why? Because the proposal is it for you men. That is all you are responsible for when it comes to the wedding. Give a nice proposal and then show up in the tux ready to get married. That is it. So after you give your amazing proposal; you can then feel free to sit back, relax, and observe as your future wife plans the entire wedding. Alone. We will see you in about a year at the alter.
P.S. If you show up looking as hot as the guy in this picture, let's be honest, it doesn't really matter HOW you propose, we will say "Yes!"
Tell us your proposal story. How did he ask you and what did you think? Email Kelley at kelley@brideorama.com
Comments
As you know I have been less than...let's say...'swept away' by FH's silent, unplanned proposal in a neighborhood bar.
But reading this, I realized how exactly fitting it was - he is most certainly what anyone would call 'the strong and silent type' - and we met during my two month stint as a bartender, lol - so all in all, although it was not a well planned, spectacular occasion, and the only lights were the Bud and Bud Light neons in the corner and their reflection off of the Corona mirror, LOLOL....it's us.
Well, I'll be damned, lol - what a life..hehe - now I can stop wishing for the perfect proposal.. and if I ever wish for a different one, I can tell myself -" hey, at least you weren't choking out your answer around a pear-shaped diamond"...that might not be so pleasant :o)
You made me look at the propsal differently. I will ask Jessica in a dark cave in southern Jersey. Thanks!
Just kidding, I kid........Keep up the great work on this site. your blogs, and everyone else's blog are really good, funny, well written, and have amazing insight. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject. Lord knows my day is coming soon, and she deserves the greatest propsal ever! ( I know she's reading this; hi sweety)
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