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Top 11 Ways to Waste Your Money (while planning your wedding)

POSTED BY Kelley Lynn, 12 October 2007

When you get married; there are some things that you absolutely need for the wedding to take place. An officiant, a location, a fiance. There are other things that we all hope to have at our weddings; food, music, good company. You get the idea. On television, weddings are giant elegant affairs with $5000 cakes and $75,000 budgets. In real life however, some if not most of us are looking for any way we can to cut corners; without our wedding appearing like we cut corners. We all want to have a nice wedding, whatever that means to you individually. What we don't want, however, is to be talked into buying things that we absolutely do not need or want for our wedding. What's even worse is when a wedding planner, venue coordinator, or salesperson tries to tell us that we absolutely "must have this" for our wedding. When you are on a budget, you really need to be careful. The problem is, wedding planning makes us all vulnerable to the power of suggestion. So if someone "suggests" that our wedding will look cheap or not elegant enough if we don't purchase a certain item, we may be inclined to listen to them. Well, I am here to tell you that they are lying. Listen to me instead. It will save you a lot of stress, and a whole bunch of money. And my advice is absolutely FREE! So here goes ...

The Top 11 Ways to Waste Your Money While Planning Your Wedding

(translation: the wedding industry and others will try and convince you to buy the following items. If you want them and can afford it, that is great. Go for it! But otherwise, YOU DON'T NEED THESE THINGS! They are super expensive and not at all necessary for your wedding to go off without a hitch.)

1. Cake Server Set:

This is a completely unnecessary item. Yes, they are beautiful; and hey, if someone decides to buy you a nice set for your Shower or an early wedding gift, more power to you. But to go out and buy a special knife and set just for your wedding cake that you will use for literally about 10 seconds on that day seems ridiculous. And expensive. You can just as easily use ANY nice looking knife set to cut the cake with, and noone will know or care. Trust me.

2. Monogrammed Toasting Flutes:

Again, these make a beautiful Shower gift for the Bride and Groom. But some people will actually try and tell you that you NEED special glasses to make your first toast with. Like, if you don't have these specific glasses, your wedding and marriage are bound to fail. First of all, you are normally sitting at a head table or at least far away enough from the guests that noone will even SEE the glasses you are using to toast with. And secondly, just because something is monogrammed doesn't mean it is nicer. Go with whatever works for you. Lots of times, your venue will supply you with glasses anyway, so it's not even an issue.

 

3. Save the Dates:

Okay, now this one is a bit tricky. The purpose of a Save the Date is to let out of town guests know ahead of time the date of your wedding, so that they can make travel plans early and hopefully have a better chance of being there on your day. So if you have a lot of out of town guests, then Save the Dates MAY be something you want to do. We did them, but only sent them out to out of town guests; not locals. I made them myself, and in total, spent about $40 to do so. The problems come in when your save the dates start becoming more of a hassle and huge expense than they are worth. Invitations are expensive enough; you should not be having to put a lot of money into a simple message telling people when and where your wedding is. If you do them, make them yourself and keep it simple.

4. Personalized Napkins:

Again with the monogramming. To me, this has to be the best scam going. Think about it. Napkins are used for what? Wiping your mouths after eating, right? Well, now you can wipe your mouth with the new married couples names! Isn't that .... gross??? Yes, and stupid. If you are going to put your names on something, please make it something other than the napkins. Also, consider this: napkins with names etched into them: $3.00 each or more. Regular napkins from party store or other place: probably less than $10 for an entire package.

 

 

5. Makeup Artist:

Unless you really do not know how to put on your own makeup, I think this is normally a pretty good way to waste your money on your wedding day. Most of us females put our own makeup on every day, and we know what we are doing for the most part. And makeup artists will charge you a fortune as soon as you say the word WEDDING. A better option? Hold a makeup class for your bridal party with a consultant from Mary Kay. They will come to your house, host a gathering, and teach everyone how to do their own makeup on that day. They will talk about skin care and help each individual find colors that best suit their skin tone. And the best part is that the whole thing is FREE. You can buy the skin care product presented, but there is no obligation to do so at all. (my mom is an Independant Sales Director for Mary Kay, and she helped me and my Matron of Honor with our makeup on my wedding day. It was great.)

 


 

6. Elegant Guestbook and Pen Set:

Another stupid scam. I am not saying you shouldn't have a guestbook. Of course you should. But there are many options out there at stores like Target, Party Stores, or even JC Penny's, Bed Bath and Beyond, etc. There is no need for a "leather bound book with gold trim" or some other dumb thing that translates into hundred of dollars. The biggest part of this scam is the pen. These people want you to pay a hundred dollars for a pen. It has gold, or feathers, or maybe it even writes your name for you! You can get a pen with the initials of the couple on it! How about a pen that sings to you as you write your signature? You get the point. Its stupid. Its a pen. Don't spend a lot of money on it.

 

 

7. Bridal Hairpieces (tiaras, barrettes, combs, etc):

Again, you want a comb to put in your hair? Fine. You can get one for under $10. But say the word WEDDING and suddenly that $10 turns into $30 or more very quickly. Purchasing any sort of hairpieces or accessories at bridal shops is a very good way to waste your money. Often times you can have the same exact pieces handmade for you for much less money. My seamstress made my veil for $15. Bridal stores sell a similar one for over $200. Go to a store that sells hair things, and make your purchases there. There will be a lot of choices, and the price will be much lower. 

 

8. Groom's Cake:

Some couples want to have a Groom's cake. Some brides like surprising their husbands with a special treat just for him. That is great. Again, if you truly want any of the things on this list, that is wonderful and of course you should have them. Just do not let anyone bully you into spending money on something that is truly unnecessary. They will try to tell you that this is the new trend, and everyone is doing it now. Do not fall for it. It is just another way for them to get you spending twice as much as you anticipated. All of those extras add up in the end. Most times, a Groom's cake is chocolate. So instead of an entire seperate cake, why not just make one layer chocolate and one vanilla? Or have chocolate cake with buttercream frosting? There are many options that are much less expensive than doing up a whole seperate cake. 

 

9. Elaborate Pew or Aisle Decorations:

Unless you are getting married inside of a gray, drab building with no hint of color or personality, most rooms have some sort of built-in decor. It is really nice when the aisles or pews are decorated with something subtle and small; and you can purchase great decorations for cheap prices at places like Michael's Craft Store, Target, Walmart, or the Christmas Tree Shops. The issue here is let's not overdue it. My florist tried to sell me on decorating every inch of space for the wedding ceremony with flowers. In the end, I chose to go with 12 seperate floral arrangements. They were used to line the aisle, and then brought over to the reception room to be used as centerpieces. Also, if you have too much going on in the church or the venue room, there won't be any room to walk down the aisle! Remember to leave room for the humans that will be walking toward the alter. Less is more.

10. Bride and Groom Exchanging Gifts:

This is one of those things that some people will try and make you feel like you NEED to do. I remember people asking me with great concern," aren't you and Don going to exchange wedding gifts?" As if the future of our marriage hinged on the answer to this question. My silent response was usually that our gift was that we are getting married today! That IS the gift. I never expected anything in addition to that from my husband, and frankly; I had never even heard of exchanging gifts on your wedding day until the wedding industry started to make it such a fad thing to do. If anything, a heartfelt note written to me that day would be something that I would always cherish. And again ... FREE! Do you see a theme here?

 


 

11. Monogrammed Aisle Runner:

Oh, this one is just stupid. It is basically like a red carpet for you to walk down the aisle on. Personally, I do not see the point of having one of these, unless it is supplied to you by the venue or it is not a lot of additional money. Our venue included it with our "package" so we didn't have to worry. But they did have upgrades available, such as different colors or nicer fabrics, etc. If we wanted to, we could have spent up to $400 to walk on a piece of lovely fabric. And hey ... not only can you spit out your food into the bride and groom's names on your napkin, now you can even walk all over the happy couple with your big pointy shoes. What's next? Monogrammed toilet paper? Eeewwwww. I think I just grossed myself out.

I would like to remind you that reading this blog was absolutely FREE. So in return for my generosity, I would be curious to know: for your wedding, what did you spend money on that you now regret? Did anyone try and sell you something that you felt was unnecessary?

Email Kelley at kelley@brideorama.com

Brideorama, blog, kelley lynn, knife set, grooms cake, wedding gifts, decorations, makeup artist, save the date, toasting flutes.

Comments

  • littleroo wrote on October 14, 2:11 pm

    The only thing I did on your list was the headpiece since the veil looked a little weird without something there. I would have gotten my husband a gift, but I couldn't think of what to get him and ran out of time. :) I can't think of anything I spent money on that I regret--maybe the disposable cameras since they were mostly used by kids so no real good pictures.

  • Danille wrote on October 20, 7:42 pm

    I am proud to say I did nothing on your list, for either my first or this wedding. I am far to frugal for any of that stuff. To be honest weddings I've enjoyed have been all about the vows and food anyway. I love dressing up for a dressy wedding and having nice food, or the casual back yard or park wedding and receptions. An officiant, attire, a few flowers, food, and friends...wa laa a wedding!

    Bob and I took 7 of the people we love most and went to Vegas. We went out for brunch after our morning wedding and then his folks went gambling, my son and friends went to hoover dam and we went back to our room ;) It was a wedding. The next night I went out with my girlfriends and Bob went to a casino with the folks. My son and his girlfriend checked out the strip and spent entirely to much money at the m&m store.

    We thought it was going to suck having our guests hanging around the first few days of our honeymoon but it was fine, they had their own vacation.

    The five months we were engaged everyone was telling us what our wedding should look like. My 5k budget was looked down on. I never admitted then the my budget would have been much less if we weren't paying for everyones airfare and accommodations for all but the friend who happened to be there on business. In my opinion a 5k budget for a 7 guest wedding is pretty extravagant.

    The only specific thing I remember not buying was a horse and buggy ride to the chapel. Why in the world would I pay extra for that when a limo was included in my wedding package and got us, my moh, and his parents to the chapel. Not to mention how freaking cold the desert is in January.

  • kelleyatbrideorama wrote on October 21, 9:26 pm

    Danille I think your wedding sounds beautiful and perfect. I never understood why anyone would "look down" on anyone elses wedding budget; whether it be big or small.

  • Elizabeth wrote on January 6, 1:33 am

    The only waste of money at my wedding was the wedding favors: small bottles of cheap wine with the bridal couple's picture on it. My mother insisted on them, but few of the guests even touched it... Still, that was the only waste. We looked to the skills of the people around us before plunking down money, so our wedding gifts included: floral arrangements (the MOH's mother used to be a professional florist), a good deal on food (my uncle went to high school with a highly-rated caterer), a good deal on a string trio (my uncle also knows a member of the Boston Pops), ceremony and reception site (my uncle also has a nice house -- in addition to a very long thank-you letter). We had no idea that our friends were so skilled and connected! Accepting help from those who offered it, and being budget-minded about the rest (photos by a photojournalist who didn't specialize in weddings, but brilliantly knew how to use natural lighting -- $750, and later I made the wedding album on Shutterfly for $30)(bridal dress off the clearance rack -- $200. It was cheaper than the groom's rented tux!)(flowers from Costco -- $300)(etc.). We felt like we were going all-out, but, including airfare, this formal dinner-time 30-guest wedding still came in at under $7000 (which still seems expensive to me, but I've incredulously heard that it's lower than average).

  • BrideoramaKelley wrote on January 6, 12:16 pm

    Hey Elizabeth. You certainly DID save a ton of money on your wedding, wow! Im impressed by all the DIY things you did and Im sure they were all beautiful. Where the money really adds up is the gueslist. The difference between having 100 and 200 people in price is staggering. I am in the midst of becoming a wedding planner right now and have two questions for you. One, how did you find shutterflys albums? Nice? Easy to create? And two, what was your floral experience like at Costco? My client is considering DIY flowers/centerpieces and we were looking at Costco as one possiblility... but I wanted to ask someone who has used them if the flowers were quality and easy to put together. Thanks!

  • Jan777 wrote on January 8, 1:12 pm

    I have to say - I had a few of these things for our wedding - but most of it were gifts from others. For example as a wedding gifts friends of ours purchased a cake server and personalized champagne flutes. We did use the server (and got frosting all over the case, hahba) but we totally forgot the flutes and ended up toasting along with our guests with cheapie plastic two piece champagne glasses from Party City! haha - We also had some fabulous decorations for the reception and aisle; matierials purchased by family and then the bows and decor designed and handmade by my Aunts, one of whom gets paid to decorate other peoples weddings.

    I did spend WAY TOO MUCH for a veil; because I tried it on during the alteration appointment and fell over in love it. I knew I had to have it and almost freaked out but did just what every other girl does- I just whipped out he plastic when I found out how much it really cost ( about 150 ish if I remember correctly) Other than the veil we were pretty frugal and careful withour money and the wedding was perfect.

    As for gifts between the bride and groom, we we had decided not to give each other gifts. Then when I got to our sweetheart table I found a gift from my fabulous husband - a poem he wrote expressing his love for me and happiness that we were married. Printed from his computer at home. Practically Free! - The best part was the photographer got a photo of it as well! It was great!

  • greg (guest) wrote on July 2, 9:09 pm

    wow Thanks for the insight you have made some good points I will follow what you have listed to help save money. try to keep you inform of whats going on

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