Rehearsal Dinner Do's and Don'ts
The rehearsal dinner. In the world of weddings, it has become a regular and almost expected event. If you are planning a wedding, you have probably dealt with issues such as where to hold the dinner, who should be invited, and who will pay for all of this madness anyway?
Well, although none of these things are set in stone, it can help to have some basic guidelines to follow while planning your rehearsal dinner. First things first: what is the purpose of the rehearsal dinner? Really, there are a couple reasons for this gathering to take place. One is to formally introduce all participating family members to one another, sometimes for the first time ever. The biggest reason for the rehearsal dinner, however; is to properly say thank you to everyone involved in the planning of your wedding. Mainly, your wedding party. And really, what better way is there to thank anyone, than to feed them? No way I can think of.
So, with that in mind, here are some general guidelines to help you out in planning your Rehearsal Dinner for your wedding:
DO invite everyone in your wedding party, and all immediate family members to the dinner. This includes maid of honor, best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, and any other bridal party members. Your parents and siblings, and sometimes your grandparents; depending on situation and budget constraints, should also be there to celebrate with you. Basically, the rehearsal dinner normally takes place immediately after the ceremony rehearsal; so anyone who is involved in the rehearsal should also be involved in the grub that is to follow.
DON'T get roped into inviting your third cousin twice removed Bertha, your ceremony musicians and their nine children, your fiance's fifteen frat buddies who have just flown in from out of town and are particularly famished, or your mother's lonely officemate Alice; whom you have never even met before.
DO try and save money by being creative with your rehearsal dinner. There are so many things that work, and in general, people are very happy as long as they are being fed. So whether its a pancake brunch after a morning rehearsal, an afternoon cookout at your place on a lovely summer day, or a chinese buffet at a fun restaurant; just make your guests feel welcome, loved, and appreciated for all the time they spent being a part of your wedding.
DON'T sacrifice your guests in order to save a dime. While it's perfectly fine to hold your "dinner" at your house rather than a restaurant, or to do something a little outside the norm; it is not acceptable or very nice to ask your guests to pay their own way for their meals or food. Your guests should always feel like guests; welcome in your environment.
DO make short speeches as the Bride and Groom, thanking everyone involved for being a part of your wedding. Generally, the rehearsal dinner is the perfect place to give out any gifts you have bought for your wedding party. Some couples also give a gift to both sets of parents, or anyone else who was a large part of your overall wedding planning process that you want to recognize or thank.
DON'T use this opportunity to make a long, drunken speech about how you wish that your mother in law would have minded her own business more; or how you can't stand your fiance's best man. It's also never a good idea to force anyone to speak publically who might not want to. Barking out orders for what should happen at the rehearsal dinner probably isn't the best idea. Just let things happen naturally, and allow it to be a fun and light atmosphere. People should be feeling relaxed the night before the wedding.
DO choose a different menu than what you will have available on your wedding day. If your choices on the wedding day for entrees include fish, chicken and beef; then perhaps a pizza party; Mexican feast, or an Italian pasta buffet might work better for a totally different atmosphere and food choice at the rehearsal dinner. This is the best way to avoid your guests having to order the exact same thing two days in a row.
DON'T base your menu solely on what your diet restrictions are. If you are a strict vegetarian who lives only on wheat and grain products, good for you. However, please keep in mind that the 20 or so people whom you have invited to EAT may not enjoy a tofu casserole or soy-silk shake as much as you do.
Most of all .. have fun at your rehearsal dinner. Do something different. Some friends of mine invited everyone up to their place in the Hamptons for a pool party, complete with an all day cookout; so much fun! Our rehearsal dinner was held at a really cool sports-themed restaurant called Champions, inside of the Marriott Hotel where all our guests were staying. We sat inside of a mock -ice hockey rink and watched baseball games on the surrounding giant screen tv's.
The wedding day will be about you and your new husband. Make sure that the rehearsal dinner is all about the people who helped to get you there; your Bridal Party and families.
If you have any suggestions for more Do's and Don'ts lists OR any other blog topic, email Kelley at kelleyiskelley@gmail.com
wedding, Brideorama, kelleylynn, blogs, rehearsal dinner, menu options, do's and don'ts, sports, healthfood.
As always I agree with you. My wedding was a Vegas chapel quickie with 7 guests. There was so rehearsal so no meal at he end. We had planned on cooking for our guests the night before in our condo but we were as tired as they were. We made some last minute reservations at a nice restaurant instead and had a great time. They had traveled to be with us so they certainly deserved some grub. There is, in my opinion, never a bad time to feed those we love and who are here for us.
And as always I agree with Danille, lol! I forgot that this is when you give the gifts, how silly of me, and thanks for the reminder. My fiance wants to have the rehearsal dinner at Outback just because it is across the street from our venue - YIKES, steak dinner for 25 people??? - we would be spending so much on that, we'd have to make serious cuts elsewhere - so just because the place is convenient to the venue - does not meant it is the best choice. I chose the Greek resaurant a bit further up the road, not that we are Greek, but I adore the food and at their prices we can do a much better spread.