Where Did That Come From? A Top 11 List of Wedding Customs

POSTED BY Kelley Lynn, 12 September 2007

Have you ever wondered the origin of some of the silly or just plain strange modern day wedding traditions and customs? Or even the original meaning of a wedding - related phrase or word? I myself have been curious about some of these traditions, so I did a little research and found out for all of us. Wasn't that nice of me? Don't say I never do anything for you people! There are many wedding customs out there; some are weird, a tad offensive, or just plain funny in their ridiculousness. A lot of these traditions seemed to have come from the days of Ancient Europe and Egypt. There are literally hundreds, but this list goes to eleven.

1. Carrying the Bride Over the Threshold

Some very early marriages were literally "carried" out by the Groom and his "bridesknights," who would kidnap a woman from another tribe for the Groom to marry. (Can you see a modern-day NYC chick putting up with this? I think not!) The Groom and his groomsmen, or bridesknights; would then fight off the bride's family with swords in their right hand, while the Groom held or "carried" the Bride in his left. This is also why the Bride stands to the left of the Groom during the wedding ceremony. It is said that in ancient times, the Groom would need his right hand side free to use his sword in protecting his new Bride from any jealous suitors. (I guess the modern day version of this would be a guy holding a beer in his right hand, and his fist in the other? You know, in case any fights break out at the local dive karaoke bar.)

2. The Honeymoon

Historians claim the term "honeymoon" came from ancient times; when the Groom would keep his Bride stashed away for one month after the wedding. The word honeymoon came from the term to describe the one month cycle of the moon during this time. The newlyweds would drink "mead," a honey - sweetened alcoholic brew that was meant to affect the acidity and sobriety of the womb; therefore increasing fertility. Now I have heard of getting your woman a little tipsy to get her into bed, but this is ridiculous!

So where does the word wedding come from? Well, allegedly, it is derived from the word "wedd," which meant that a man would marry a woman and then pay the bride's father. Let me repeat that. The Groom would PAY the bride's father so that he could marry her! So basically, us females were being bought and sold between the two men that supposedly loved us most;our dad and our future husbands. I wonder how much a good women went for in those days. Something tells me they didn't take American Express for these transactions.

4. The Bouquet and Toss

Now this one just made me laugh, plain and simple. Did you know that originally, bouquets were made not of flowers, but instead of herbs with a strong odor such as garlic and thyme. They would wrap the herbs in ribbons or rope and create a bridal bouquet. Why? Well, to frighten Evil Spirits, of course. Everything "back in the day" seems to be about evil spirits. Apparently there were a lot of spirits running around trying to ruin people's weddings. Nothing like a little garlic to scare them away though, huh? "Run for your lives! It's GARLIC!!!" The secondary purpose of the strong herbed bouquet was to cover the stench of any guests who had not bathed recently. So weird Uncle Eddie with his two teeth and B.O. will now smell like B.O. drowned in garlic. Sounds like the perfect solution to me. And hey, what's better on your wedding night than a garlic smelling Bride? Mmmmm, sexy. It's no wonder their Grooms hid them away for a month. As for the bouquet toss, this also had to do with luck and evil spirits. It was widely believed that newlyweds brought upon good luck, so tossing the bouquet represented the Bride passing on her luck to whoever caught it. Also, guests were known back then for literally tearing at the Bride's wedding dress, so they could take home a piece of it for "luck." Sort of like trying to get a lock of hair from Paul McCartney, but weirder. So the tossing of the bouquet acted as a distraction, so that the guests would hopefully leave the Bride's dress alone. (Umm... yeah. That makes sense, right? Not really.)

5. Bridal Shower

The story goes like this: A long, long time ago; in a land far away; a poor Dutchman fell for a beautiful girl whose father refused her a dowry. So her friends got together and "showered" her with enough gifts to help her and her poor, poor Dutchman start a household. This sounds like the perfect couple for "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" to me. Other ancient customs included hiding the wrapped gifts under a parisole, which would then fall upon the Bride .. hence the term "shower." I wonder if anyone back then ever received a gift card to Target?

6. The Lifting of the Veil

More evil spirits. One of the main purposes of the Bride's veil was to protect her from them wacky evil spirits. Even more humorous than that is this: during ancient times, most weddings were pre-arranged by the families of the Bride and Groom. The Groom was never allowed to see the Bride's face, therefore her face was covered by the veil. In fact, the Groom did not know what the Bride looked like until seconds before the vows began. This is why the father of the Bride would lift the veil; to "present" the Groom with his new Bride. The theory was that if a Groom saw his future Bride's face before this point, he may not like her looks; and therefore, may not agree to marry her. Talk about shocking a guy, huh? Can you imagine the guy who happens to end up with the woman who is ... well, unattractive? I wonder what would happen if the Groom found the Bride just too ugly to continue the ceremony. This brings new meaning to the term blind date. This is blind marriage!

7. Tossing Rice

So as we have established, newlyweds bring good luck. Guests would try to add to that luck by showering the couple with nuts and grains, to insure a healthy harvest, and many children to work the land. In times of poor harvest, guests would toss rice instead. Today, throwing rice at the Bride and Groom is still a practiced custom at many church weddings.

8. Tying the Knot

Next time you say you are "tying the knot," perhaps you will have more of an appreciation as to what that actually means. During the Roman Empire times, the Bride wore a girdle that was tied in knots. Before the couple consummated the marriage, the Groom would untie the knots on the girdle in order to undress his new Bride. So then, wouldn't it be called "untying the knot?" Im confused. Now if you have seen any old movies, you probably have noticed just how much time it takes to untie one of those girdles. A looong time. Ages. I guess this was considered to be their version of foreplay, since by the time that thing is untied; it could be well into their month of isolation from society.

9. The Toast

The term of the "toast" comes from France, where a piece of bread was placed in the bottom of two glasses for the bride and groom at the reception. While the guests watched and cheered on, they would "race" to see who could drink fastest and get to the "toast." The winner would make a short speech and was said to be the person to rule the household. It is quite amusing that somehow this fun drinking game involving a piece of toast and a short speech has somehow become 5 different drunk, awkward relatives giving 20 minute "had to be there" type stories until the guests officially fall asleep in their soup.

10. Shoes on Vehicle

Oh those wacky Romans. This one is also quite bizarre. On the wedding day, the father of the Bride would give the Groom his daughter's shoes. Why, you ask? Well, to symbolize the transfer of authority over the Bride, silly! In later years, guests would throw their own shoes at the happy couple as they exited the reception. Today, this tradition still lives on in some weddings; when guests and friends tie pairs of old shoes to the back of the car before the couple leaves the reception. All of this makes me glad I buy my shoes at Payless. Hell, if they are going to be given to a man, why should I spent money on them? And what the hell does a man do with a pair of women's shoes anyway once they are in his posession? Wait. I don't want to know.

11. Wedding Cake

Did you know that wedding cakes used to be made with no frosting at all? And forget about buttercream, strawberries, or mocha flavored cakes. These cakes were made of wheat and barley, and then broken over the Bride and Groom's HEADS as a symbol of her fertility. Huh? How does having cake all over your head mean you will be fertile? Oh well. Hey people, I didn't write this stuff, I'm just the messenger. Anyway, after the cake was broken over the heads of the couple, guests would scramble around trying to get a piece of the cake for "good luck." Yum yum. Cake that has been on someone's scalp AND on the floor. In later years, it became tradition to stack many smaller cakes as highly as possible in a tower. The bride and groom would then try to kiss over the cakes without knocking any of them down. If they did knock them down, they would be killed instantly. Just kidding. Making sure you were paying attention. During the reign of King Charles II of England, bakers began adding icing ..and the modern day version of a wedding cake was born. Interestingly enough, I could not find any ancient reasoning behind the "smashing of the cake." It looks like this is just one of those things that we Americans picked up from ourselves. So you see? Even in ancient times when women were bought and sold by men and carried kicking and screaming over the threshold to their new husbands; even these people had the good sense to know that you don't smash cake into your new wife's face. That would certainly bring on Evil Spirits.