Get Advice: Dear Rodney
er... i am a guy. Just wondering about how long exactly you should give yourself to plan for a wedding. I totally suffer from IGS (Insensitive Guy Syndrome) . So before i get to the point where i say something dumb like "lets get married like next month?" and then get yelled at for this......TELL ME PLEASE!!!! :)
Dear Rodney,
Well, what have we here? My very first question in the Advice Column, and it is not from some confused, stressed-out, panicky bride. Instead, the inquiry comes from none other than that strange, often mysterious, yet sometimes misunderstood person that we like to refer to as "the Male."
Now, you are lucky. I have some prior experience with the male species and their dilemmas. I have a brother. And let's face it, I did marry a male. For the past seven months, I have managed to figure out his style of man-speech and dialogue. So, when I read your question, I think I was successful in decoding what it was you had to say.
First, lets deal with the idea of you referring to yourself as someone suffering from Insensitive Guy Syndrome, or IGS. Although you are correct that this is indeed a severe problem with male-type people, I must disagree with you that you have this particular disorder. It is my opinion that you do not have this disease. If you did have it, you would be much too insensitive to think about such things as planning a wedding, and you also wouldn't be posting about your issue on a site titled "Brideorama."
I applaud you for your bravery in coming here for answers. Perhaps this will start a revolution with the male species. Maybe more men will log onto this site because of your courage. Maybe men all over the world will start becoming more sensitive to their women's needs. Maybe there will now be a second site called "Groomorama," where men like this will unite as one and talk about tuxedo colors and ties and ... Oh, who the hell are we kidding? Nothing has changed because of your question. But I still thank you for asking it.
So, your question. How long does one typically need to plan a wedding? There is no one answer to this. It really depends on several factors. You need to set a budget. Figure out how much you are realistically able to spend and what you want to spend on a wedding. Then you need to decide what type and style of wedding you and your fiance would like to have. Casual beach? Elegant evening? Something in between? These things are important to figure out because if you want to have your wedding on New Year's Eve at the top of the Empire State Building, you might need to reserve something like that a couple years ahead of time! However, if you are planning a smaller, more casual affair at Aunt Sue's beautiful country home, then the only reservations you need are whether Aunt Sue is free that day.
Typically, it's a good idea to start planning about a year ahead of time. If you live in a big city and/or your wedding will be during peak wedding season, you will want to book your venue and major vendors as soon as you can. If you are open to different times of the year, dates and days of the week, then you can be a bit more free with timing.
Bottom line is this: You and your fiance or girlfriend should be on the same page as to what kind of wedding you would like to have, when, and all other major decisions.
You mentioned saying to your significant other something like, "Hey, lets get married next month!" The fact that you want to say something like that to her makes me think you are a very spontaneous individual. That is great. But is she the same way? Or will she flip out if you give her only one month to plan a wedding? I think 90 percent of women may not want to plan an entire wedding in one month's time. So, if you believe your girl is in the other 10 percent, then go ahead and spring it on her. Just like with anything, know your audience. If you can predict how she might react to most situations, then you are in great shape.
Everyone is different. Some people plan a wedding in a year, others are engaged for two or three years before actually getting married. The truly impulsive ones don't plan much at all and love the idea of running off somewhere romantic together to elope. So knowing yourself and your partner will give you the best answer to how much time you will need to plan a wedding.
You never know. You may just surprise yourself and your partner by turning IGS into a much more appealing disorder -- Really Sensitive Understanding of Everything and Perfect In all Ways Guy Syndrome. RSUOEAPIAWS.
No, wait. That's too many letters. It'll never fly. Forget it.
-Kelley Lynn
kelleyiskelley@gmail.com
http://www.myspace.com/iamkelleylynn (regularpage)
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