Bride-O-Rama
My Top 11 Most Annoying/Overplayed Wedding Reception Songs
So I figured I would write my first "real" Blog about something I feel very passionate about: Music. One of the key elements to a memorable, fantastic wedding reception is the overall FUN factor and atmosphere of the event; which is captured partly by choosing the right music. A great DJ or band can read their crowd and knows how to create flow with a great mixture of songs: old and new, fast and slow. A bad DJ plays the same old crap at every wedding, no matter what the circumstances. When I attend a wedding, I love to dance and have fun at the reception. What I don't love is being forced into hearing the same tired old songs at wedding after wedding after wedding after wedding..... Sure, "Smooth" by Santana is a great song, but much like Larry King, it just gets old.
So, the following is my personal list of songs that particularly irritate me at weddings. Keep in mind that this is my opinion only, so feel free to comment or add your own song choices to the list. The songs will be listed in order from least to most offensive, ending with Number One. Can you guess what it is?
You may be wondering why this is not a Top Ten List. Simple. Everyone does a top ten, and just like with my wedding; I refuse to do what everyone else is doing just because everyone else is doing it. So there. Because this is a music-themed blog, I will borrow the words of Nigel Tufnel from the brilliant mockumentary "This is Spinal Tap," in explaining my new and improved list format ...
"These go to Eleven."
11. "Hot, Hot, Hot" by Buster Pointdexter -- Not, not, not. Could this song be any more irritating? Its like nails on a chalkboard. Whenever the Bride and Groom start the conga line, this awful song soon follows. We did a conga line at our wedding, but we used the Miami Sound Machine song entitled, "Conga." Made sense to me.
10. "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang --- this is clearly one of the most annoying and overplayed songs at pretty much any "celebration." Yes, we get it. We are celebrating. The song states we are celebrating. So we are singing a song about celebrating while we are celebrating. It's very deep. This song is especially awful when the DJ makes everyone scream/sing the phrase "celebrate good times, CMON!" There is nothing that kills a celebration more than forced-celebration. Besides, if you really want to play some Kool and the Gang, how about "Get Down on It" or "Jungle Boogie." Both outstanding choices.
9. "Shout" by the Isley Brothers -- This is another one of those audience participation diddys. That whole section where we are told to squat down then get up , then squat down, then get up while waving our hands in the air like we just dont care. I gotta tell you, I DON'T care. You know the part I'm talking about. Sing it with me now ... "a little bit softer now, a little bit softer now, a little bit louder now, a little bit louder now ... you know you make me wanna ...."
8. "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf -- I will admit it, I just don't like Meatloaf. For dinner, yes. At a wedding, not so much. This is one of those moments where the DJ will split the room up and make all the girls talk to the boys like we are at some cheesy 7th grade dance. I didn't like being there the first time around, what makes you think I wanna go back? The real kicker here though is the ungodly length of this song. Don't quote me on this, but I believe the song clocks in at about 37 minutes. Okay, I'm exagerrating. It's only 27minutes. Point is, it's a long song. It never ends. By the time it's over, we might have to cut the wedding cake and skeedaddle outta there. No thanks. I think I will just wait and hear this tune at the 54 other weddings I will be attending throughout my lifetime. I can wait.
7. "YMCA" by the Village People -- This doesnt even require explanation; except to say that we all look like complete fools when we spell out all the letters with our hands. Trust me, its on my video. (this one slipped by against my will.)
6. "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor -- Whenever this song starts up at a wedding, I literally groan out loud. I dont get it. It's a wedding. A happy occasion of love. Why are we playing this song about revenge and anger and hey buddy, dont let the door hit you on your way out! This should be the theme song for Lifetime -Television for Women. But here's the funny part: I dont think I have ever been to a wedding where this song wasn't played; yet everytime it begins, every female in the place jumps up screaming and hollering and running out to the dance floor yelling, "oh my god, I love this song!", as if it's the first time they have ever heard it; and as if they are simply shocked it is playing. When this song comes on, I use it as an opportunity for a restroom break.
5. "Stayin Alive" by the BeeGees -- THE most overplayed dance song ever. And the funny thing is, it's really not a great dance song. It's hard to dance to. And I gotta tell ya ... the only person who doesn't look like a tool doing the John Travolta moves is John Travolta. The rest of us look like jackasses. It's gotta stop. A much better BeeGees selection for dancing is "You Should Be Dancing." Hence the title.
4. "The Electric Slide" by varoius artists, all equally mindnumbing --at number four, we are getting down to the truly offensive stuff. And this song, to me, is one of the worst. Everything about it is terrible. First of all, it promotes a form of line-dancing, which always seems depressing to me. All the middle-aged folk usually trot out to the dance floor for this gem, and proceed to dance in a trainwreck fashion. This display always reminds me of some hole in the wall, sad kareoke bar where songs like this are worshipped nightly by the regulars. When it comes on at a wedding, it's almost as if nobody really wants to take part, but they do anyway, like robots. Force of habit. Sort of like flossing. Just do it and get it over with.
3. "Macarena" by Los Del Rio -- Awful, awful, awful. Terribly awful, and even more awful. Simply horrific. Awful.
2. "Summer Lovin" from the Grease Soundtrack -- Another "split the room" classic. Okay, all the guys get on one side and all the girls on the other. Now guys, you have to sing "tell me more, tell me more, did you get very far?" and girls, you have to then sing, "tell me more, tell me more, like does he have a car?" Oh, someone please kill me now. Looks like its time for another bathroom break. I'll see you in there.
1. Yup, you guessed it. What else could it be but "The Chicken Dance." Oh, where to even begin. This song is so utterly pointless on so many levels. First of all, what does flailing your arms around and pretending to be a chicken have to do with weddings? what does it have to do with anything for that matter? Everyone hates this dance. It's just a nightmare moment when it comes on. It's almost a feeling of overall embarassment somehow. Like we have all collectively failed at life. This is it. The bottom of the barrell. We are doing the Chicken Dance. People always justify it by saying, "its for the kids." Then they force their kids out there and make THEM look like fools. I remember one wedding I attended years ago where the DJ brought out all the parents with their kids to the dance floor for the Chicken Dance. Out they came to be chickens. This one girl who was about 5yrs old or so, kept tugging on her mother's dress like she wanted out of there now. But her mom continued to do the Chicken Dance. Finally, the girl looked her mom square in the eye, folded her arms and said matter of factyl, "I'm not doing this anymore. It's stupid."
Then she took her seat at the table and enjoyed some wedding cake.
My thoughts exactly!
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